Random Writings

Author: I'd completely forgotten about this Christie. I think it probably should have stayed buried.

The Crime
By
Sarah Abbett
One foggy night, the air hung still around San Francisco. The air held mystery and intrigue. It was just right for crime. Detective Kristina Warsaw knew this. She shivered in the cold, as she waited. Her office was not well insulated. She knew it would come. Eventually it would come.
Her telephone rang inside her office. She picked it up. “Detective Kristina Warsaw?” “This is she.” “You were right. I don’t know how you do it.” “Where and when?” “The old Juniper Gable house. Approximately an hour ago.” “I’m on my way.”
She hung up, and drove to the Juniper Gable. She parked outside the house, and walked inside. The place was swarming with police officers. She walked up to one and said, “Excuse me, where can I find Captain Sland?” “Wow. You press people are fast. Down the hall, to your left.” “Thank you.”

Author: Two young brats who hate each other fall in love, blah blah blah. *Cringe*

The Courting of Princess Cordelia
BY
SARAH ABBETT

Chapter One

Princess Cordelia Rose Renee II was a spoiled brat. It did not help that she was royalty, and could have anything she wanted by birth. It also did not help that her mother, the Royal Highness Elizabeth Crystal Renee IV, would have given Cordelia heaven and earth if Cordelia had whined long enough about it. However, Cordelia did have her good points, although she was a spoiled brat, and a bit of a snob. Well, if truth were told, she was a lot of a snob.
Anyway, Princess Cordelia Rose Renee II was 18 on this very lovely April day. For her birthday, her mother and father, his Royal Highness William Jones Renee V, had decided that it was high time for suitors to begin courting Cordelia. Cordelia was not thrilled to hear this news. She had seen her only sibling, her older sister Princess Stephanie May Sparx I go through the courtship ritual. She had ended up with an ugly, old, uncouth stranger with no hope of ever getting out of the marriage. Cordelia did not want this to happen to her. Therefore, when her father and mother told her that suitors would begin courting her, Cordelia decided to do something about it.
“I don’t want to have suitors.” Cordelia said.
“Excuse me?” Her father said. Cordelia decided to keep her cool. Her father was not affected by her whining.
“I don’t want any suitors.” Cordelia said quietly.
“Nonsense! I know what is best for you! If I say you’re ready to have suitors, then you’ll have suitors!” Cordelia was just getting ready to throw a huge tantrum, when Matthew Thomas, her father’s favorite footman came in.
He bowed, and said, “The Widow Smith and her daughter Gail Smith to see you, Your Highness.”
“Show them in.” The King commanded. Matthew left.
A few minutes later, Matthew returned with two peasant women, one about my age, the other an old woman. They bowed, and the older one said, “Your Royal Highnesses. This is my daughter Gail Smith.” Gail curtsied. “I can not pay the debt between you and I. Since I can not pay the debt, I will give my daughter to yours in exchange for free land.” The king cleared his throat. Anyone could see he was ill at ease.
“Yes. Well. I wish Widow Smith, that you would let me tear the contract up in two, and have me write a new one allowing you to have free land and live on it with your daughter. I wish you would keep your daughter, for she is the greatest treasure you could have. No land is worth as much. I would owe you an unpayable debt.”
Widow Smith said very slowly and very clearly, “I do cherish my daughter. However, I cherish more a kept promise. I will not accept charity, even though it be at the hands of a king.” She nudged Gail towards me, and I could see fear in Gail’s eyes. She did not want to leave her home. I was puzzled why a peasant would not choose a castle over a grass hut, but I could see that she wanted to remain with her mother.
I thought for a moment, and then said, “Thank you Widow Smith, but I can not accept your gift. I am sure your daughter means a great deal to you, and that to be willing to give her up is commendable. I all ready have too many handmaidens who pull my hair when it is brushed. Nevertheless, you will still have your free land. I see you hesitate to accept our generosity, although it would mean the price of a daughter. Will you listen to reason?”
Widow Smith hesitated and slowly said, “Yes, child, I will.”
I said, “First, do not think of our gift as charity. If you had extra bread and knew your neighbor needed some, wouldn’t you share the bread with them?” The Widow nodded her head slowly. “Would you listen if your neighbor, who you knew was starving for lack of bread, said, ‘No thank you. I don’t accept charity?’”
“Of course not!”
“You would not hesitate to share God’s blessings with other, but yet you hesitate to accept them. How, then, will you share it if you don’t have it?”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“Besides, if you do not accept our gift, you run the risk of offending the givers.” “Guess if you think of it that way, I’m actually doin’ y’all a favor. Gail, come ‘long. It’s plain they don’t want you here.”
The girl said, “Thank you Princess.” Then, she ran off after the Widow.
I felt rather proud of myself until my mother said, “Really, Cordelia. If you did not want the girl, the least you could have done is said so. You shouldn’t be such a snob Cordelia darling.”
Ignoring the snob comments, I said, “Mother, darling is not my name.”
“Oh, I’m sorry darling.” I was ready to launch war after that.
“Mom, you did it again.”
“Sorry darling. What would you like to be called?”
I said with a sigh, “Cordelia would be nice.”
“Oh! Well.” Mother looked at a loss for words.
Suddenly, Matthew came in, looking a bit breathless. He bowed and said, “Your Royal Highnesses, His Royal Highness Prince Travis James Franklin III is standing outside the moat waiting to be let in.”
“Daddy, you didn’t!” Cordelia screeched.
“I did. Just give this one suitor a chance. If you decide after you spend some time with him that you still don’t want any suitors, we’ll put it off until next year.”
“Oh, fine.” Cordelia said, sarcastically. However, the sarcasm was lost on her father. He commanded Matthew, “Let the young Prince in.”
“I can’t.” Matthew sighed.
“What’s wrong with you, man? Go put the door down. How hard could that possibly be?”
“Well, Your Highness, I would put the door down if I were able to.” Matthew said. “That doesn’t sound good. Explain!” The King commanded.
“Well, Your Highness, our new door keeper was pulling up he door from Widow Smith’s visit, when the Prince rode up to the door, and demanded the door be let down.”
“What happened, Matthew?” The King asked patiently.
“The door got stuck in the middle.” Matthew let out the words with a rush.
“WHAT?” The King bellowed.
“The new door keeper let the door come down so fast from coming up, it jammed.”
The king sighed and said, “Let me come look at it.” He got up and followed Matthew out of the room.
Cordelia fervently wished the door would not become unjamed. After a few moments, she allowed herself to hope that perhaps the door would remain stuck forever. After a few more moments, she began to silently rejoice that her suitor had not yet come through the door. Her rejoicing was ended abruptly when her father, two young men, and two royal personages entered the room.
“It was a simple thing to fix. The door keeper was fired, the door was unjamed and everybody lived happily ever after.” The King said. Cordelia was disgusted. She did not want anything to do with the prince. Not that he was unattractive or unkind looking. She just did not want anything to do with suitors.
A young man of slightly lesser rank stood behind the prince. Cordelia snapped her fingers once and a young woman was beside her before the prince finished bowing. Being the hosts, my parents invited his into a close by room to have tea. When we asked to come with them, they insisted we stay in the room and get to know each other. They left, and we stared at each other. Well, more like glared at each other. The prince clapped two times, and his assistant followed the kings and queens. I did the same, and my handmaiden went to my room. A heavy silence hung in the room.
The prince finally said, “So, what exactly am I supposed to do now?”
I said, “Try and get me to fall madly in love with you.”
“Well, I’ve already got a girl madly in love with me, and I’m madly in love with her. My parents just wanted to see a real princess in hopes I might change my mind and my heart. Tell me how I can court one girl but I am in love with another.”
“ I understand. That is fine with me. I do not want any suitors. My father said I had to have one.” Cordelia sighed. “What is your name?” She asked.
The prince said, “Please, call me T.J. I’ve always wanted to be called that, but everyone always uses my royal name, Prince Travis James Franklin III. I hate it.”
“I know exactly what you mean. Please, call me Rose, and not Cordelia Rose Renee II.”
“That’s a tolerable name I suppose.” The prince said. Just then, a sleek Persian cat entered the throne room.
“Oh, drat. I just put that cat away.” Rose complained.
“Yours?” The prince asked politely.
“Oh, yes.” Cordelia rolled her eyes.
“I have a dog at home by the name of Tibs.” The prince said dreamily.
“This is Esther named after the Persian Queen of the Bible. Excuse me while I take her away.” Rose picked up the cat, and went out of the throne room. While she was gone, the prince thought until Rose startled him by saying, “Something wrong?” He started. He had not seen her come back in.
He said crossly, “No. Not a thing.”
“Sorry.” Cordelia looked a bit put out but did not say anything.
Out of nowhere, the prince said, “Rose, if I were to ask other people what their opinion of you is, what do you think they would say?”
“She’s a spoiled brat with a good heart, and a snob. What would they say of you, T.J.?” “He’s a nice prince.”
Cordelia laughed and said, “You sound as if you were speaking about a dog, and not a human being.”
The prince laughed and said, “That’s something I never noticed before. The loyal servant and the master. The question is: which is which?” Rose gave him a strange look. The prince said quickly, “I’m bored of just sitting here talking. How about you?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but yes, this is rather boring. No offense, but it gets boring talking to suitors.” Rose made a face.
“No offense taken. How would you like to go on an adventure with me? It is something I do all the time. You could help fight off the bad guys with me.” The prince smiled.
Rose said, “Now you’re talking. I have not been on an adventure in months. You have any dragons, giants, bandits, rogues, pirates, or just plain bad stuff in your town?”
“Of course. Do you think I just sit around the castle all day? I’d be in an insane asylum long before now if I did that.” The prince quipped.
Cordelia sighed enviously and said, “Boys have all the luck. Let us go to your town then, because nothing ever comes here. Let’s make the preparations and get out of here.”
“We should ask permission first.” The prince said, scared that his suggestion had actually worked.
“Silly. That is part of the adventure – sneaking out of the castle. You go to the kitchen and get some provisions. I will get some peasant clothes. We should go incognito for as long as we can.” Rose gave a sneaky grin.
“Right. Meet back at the hallway in fifteen minutes.” The prince laughed.
“O.K.” Rose ran off.
The prince went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “Can you please give us some provisions for an adventure?” Fortunately, the cook was well used to cooking quickly for adventures. (Cordelia used to traipse all over the place before her father forbade it. Even then, she found ways to have adventures.) The prince went to the hallway, and waited for Cordelia. She managed to grab some old rags from the laundry basket. She walked to the hallway, and met the prince. They slipped peasant clothes over their regular garments, and set off from the castle.

Chapter Two

Princess Cordelia Rose Renee II and Prince Travis James Franklin III set off on their adventure. Therefore, they set off on foot to begin their adventure. As soon as they reached the land across the drawbridge, it began to look like it might possibly rain. They kept an eye on the sky, as they walked on the road out of town. Soon, it began to rain. They were out of town at the time, and found a cave right as it began to storm.
They were wet, and the cave was devoid of warmth, but it was a shelter from the storm. They sat at the entrance of the cave, and soon fell asleep in different parts of the cave listening to the sound of the rain. After a long sleep, Rose felt some hot breath on her neck. “Go away T.J. It is not time to get up yet. It’s still dark.” Rose heard a growl in her ear, and said sleepily, “Now, don’t growl at me. It is not my fault you woke up so early. Go back to sleep.” She turned over, opened her eyes a slit, and saw a dragon.
Rose did the only thing available to a blue-blooded princess under the circumstances. She let out an ear-splitting screech, which awoke T.J. “Huh? What? What’s going on?” He asked sleepily.
“There is a DRAGON next to me!” Rose screeched.
“That’s nice.” T.J. turned over to go back to sleep.
“Perhaps you did not HEAR me. I said there is a DRAGON right NEXT to me, and I expect you to do something about it right now!” Rose tried not to panic.
“Oh. About what, exactly?” T.J. asked.
“About the removal of the dragon from the cave!” Rose said with much emphasis.
“Why? It isn’t bothering you.” T.J. yawned.
“It is bothering me. It woke me up, and is giving me at this moment, a very hungry looking stare. And after it eats me it will probably have you for dessert.” It took all Rose’s self-control not to scream.
“Excuse me, miss. I am not at all interested in eating you. I am just wondering how a young peasant girl and boy from the nearby village managed to get to this cave in that rain last night.” The dragon eyed the two suspiciously.
“We walked.” Rose offered.
“Ten miles? In one day? I find this hardly believable. I watch the village; most of the peasant girls are slugs, and the ones that are not slow are very unpleasant. Of course, the slugs are unpleasant too.” The dragon gave a small snort.
“Do you mean to say there is not one kind, industrious peasant girl in all the village bellow?” Rose questioned.
“Begging your pardon, miss. I meant no disrespect to any sort of kin you might have. However, there are two exceptions. That is all I have seen in all my years of watching the village. One is the daughter of a widowed woman, and the other is the handmaiden to the princess. You are neither.” The dragon said, smiling.
“Hmm. I shall have to make a note of that. Good thing I brought plenty of quills and parchment in our provision basket. You didn’t by chance, eat any of that?” Rose asked with a very strong hope the dragon had not.
“Goodness no! I prefer roasted sheep. I don’t eat humans, and I certainly do not eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” The dragon shuddered.
“That’s good. Do you know where we might find some food around here, besides in the village, and roasted sheep?” Rose said, taking notes on the parchment.
“Yes indeed. There are plenty of berry bushes around here. A word of caution, do not eat the ones with spots on them. They prove ill in all ends.” The dragon said with a perfectly serious demeanor.
“Thank you very much for putting us up for the night, and for the advice. Come along, T.J. We have berry hunting, and then we will spend the noon in the shade somewhere, and travel by night. So much nicer and cooler that way.” Rose was in her element.
“Are you out of your mind? It’s pouring rain out there!” T.J. whined.
“Oh, come on. Where’s your sense of adventure?” Rose asked.
“I left it in my nice warm bed.” T.J. answered sleepily.
“Prince Travis James Franklin III, if you don’t get out here and help me pick some berries, I’ll tell the dragon to roast you. By, the way, what is your name?” Rose suddenly remembered her manners.
“Gwendolyn. Prince Travis? Who might the other sheep in disguise be?”
“Princess Cordelia Rose Renee II, if you please, just call me Rose.”
“Really? A prince and a princess? Dressed in peasant clothes?” Gwendolyn looked surprised.
“Come on T.J. Let’s go berry picking.” Rose said enthusiastically. There came a groan from T.J.
“So, exactly what are a prince and princess doing in peasant garment out of the town below?” Gwendolyn asked.
“Having an adventure. We were bored.” Rose shrugged.
“Indeed. It seems Rose, that you could have picked a partner more adaptable about getting up in the morning.” Gwendolyn said with a smile and nod towards T.J.
“You would think so, wouldn’t you? Rise and shine, T.J. Or, I really will have Gwendolyn roast you.” Rose threatened.
“I hope you are bluffing. I hate to roast people. Gives dragons such a bad reputation.” Gwendolyn looked truly horrified.
“I’m up all ready. What time is it?” T.J. grunted, barely sitting up.
“Time for berry picking in the rain. Come on!” Rose said, halfway out of the cave.
“Let me introduce myself to Gwendolyn first, and then I will join you. I don’t want her mistaking me for a sheep and roasting me at night.” T.J. shuddered.
“All right, but if you’re not out here, by the time I fill my bucket, I fill another bucket with rain, and douse you.” Rose threatened.
“NO! Anything but water in my cave! I can’t stand it!” Gwendolyn shuddered.
“All right, calm down. I will not put water in your cave. May I call you Gwen for short?” Rose asked.
“If you wish.” Gwen shrugged.
“Right. I’ll be outside.” Rose went outside. T.J. looked up at a dragon for the first time in his life, and knew why people ran screaming from dragon caves.
“Well?” Gwen said.
“Umm. About those polite peasant girls you were talking about . . .” T.J. said uncomfortably.
“Yes?”
“I’d appreciate it if you would not bring up the subject in front of Rose.”
“Why?”
“Well, one of them is the young girl I am in love with.”
“And?”
“You know how moody princesses can be. She might take offense.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about it with her.”
“Still, if you don’t mind . . .”
“All right.” Gwen shrugged. “It really makes no difference to me.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Now, go berry pick. Or I really might roast you.”
T.J. ran out of the cave as if he had seen a ghost, though he knew Gwen was just kidding. However, you did not take any chances with a dragon. He came out of the nice, warm cave into pouring rain. “Really, Rose. What on earth are you thinking?” He asked crossly.
Rose laughed and said, “Oh, T.J. It’s such beautiful weather. I love the rain.”
T.J. let out a grunt and said in a falsetto, “Oh, T.J. It’s such beautiful weather. I love the rain. Phooey.”
Rose laughed. “Well, I do.”
Just then, a young peasant girl came slowly walking towards the cave.
Gwen said, “Oh, good. Here she comes with food!”
Rose said, “Pardon me?”
“You really didn’t think I went out and took helpless sheep did you?” Gwen said.
T.J. said, “Well, it isn’t unheard of.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! I pay a young girl from the village to bring my food here.” Gwen looked a bit offended.
“You pay a young girl? What do you use for payment?” Rose asked.
“My own money. I get paid from the Royal Dragons Employment Agency or RDEA every month for doing odd jobs they ask me to.” Gwen looked quite proud of herself.
T.J. said, “I don’t even want to know what those odd jobs are.”
Gwen said with a vicious smile, “No, you really don’t.”
Rose looked over her shoulder and said, “Oh. It is that young girl who was in the throne room today. Her mother wanted to use her to settle a debt. I stopped that.” She smiled, and looked at T.J. He was looking towards the peasant girl. “What?” Rose said, looking the same way.
“Gail?” He said, obviously surprised.
“Well, after all I did tell you about the other girls. None of them would even get near me. Not that I would let them. I’d roast them and flood my cave first.” She looked very serious.
He walked towards the young girl. Rose watched with surprise, stopping her berry picking for a moment.
“Gail? Is that really you?” T.J. asked hopefully.
The young girl replied, “My name is Gail. Who are you?”
“You don’t recognize me?” T.J. said. “Oh, it’s the clothes.”
Gail said, “I seriously doubt it’s the clothes.”
T.J. laughed, and turned to Rose and said, “Isn’t she funny?”
Rose said stiffly, “Oh, yes. A real laugh riot.” She turned back to the berry bushes.
T.J. said to Gail, “You’ll have to excuse Rose. Gwen woke her up a little too early.”
Rose snorted and said, “Look who’s talking.” She was grouchy. She did not want Gail tagging along with them.
Gail said, “Oh. But I still don’t know who you are.”
“Miss Gail, I am T.J.” He said it with a wide smile.
“I don’t know a T.J. You will let me pass.”
He said, “Rose . . .”
Rose said, “You might as well tell her. It does not really matter. I did want to go INCOGNITO but obviously there are some people incapable of understanding that word, such as YOU.”
T.J. said, “Ouch, that smarts. Gail, I am Prince Travis James Franklin III.”
Gail said, “Sure you are. Prove it.”
“How can I do that?” T.J. asked.
“Tell me something only we know.”
“All right. I can handle that. Your birthday is - ”
“Half the town could tell you that. Try again.”
“Your favorite song?”
“No.”
“Favorite color?”
“No.”
“Give me a little help here.”
Gail thought a moment, then said, “Favorite place to be with me.”
“Easy. Pointer’s Rock.” T.J. said.
She looked at him, and said, “Well, T.J. It really is you. You are a mess.”
“Well, Gail. It really is you.” They both laughed.
Rose did not say anything; she simply went on with berry picking.
Gail asked, “Who’s the female companion with you? Should I be concerned?”
Rose answered, “A mere peasant girl from a neighboring village. You have no reason to be concerned.”
“Your name is Rose if I remember correctly.” Gail said politely.
“Miss Gail, you have an excellent memory.” Rose said.
“Well, what brings you and T.J. together?” She asked.
“The hope of an adventure.” Rose said.
“Well, that sounds exciting! May I join your party?”
“Well, it’s certainly all right with me.” T.J. said eagerly. “If Rose doesn’t mind.”
“Oh, no. I do not mind. In fact, I insist.” Gail looked pleased. Rose made a face towards Gwen which no one but she and the dragon saw. Gwen ignored it and said, “Well, are you coming with that sheep or not?”
“Oh, yes. I’m coming.” Gail said, and she went into Gwen’s cave.
T.J. said to Rose, “A most unexpected surprise.”
Rose said, “Indeed.” She finished berry picking and stood up. She stared into space for a moment, thinking.
T.J. said, “I’m so glad you like her Rose.”
Rose snapped, “I said nothing about liking her. I said she could join us. Which I did because you want her to.”
T.J. opened his mouth to say something in return, but Gail came out and he shut his mouth. “Well, darling.” Gail said. “Let us be off on this adventure.”
Rose saw her chance and said, “I’m afraid I shall be pulling out.”
T.J. said, “What?”
Rose said, “I’m afraid this poor peasant girl has to get back to her duties. It was fun T.J. I enjoyed myself. Really I did. But I must be off.”
Gail did not look very sorry, but she said, “Oh, I’m so sorry darling. Are you sure you won’t stay with us?”
“I really wish I could, but a peasant’s duties never fail. Goodbye. The provisions of course stay with you.” T.J. watched her go off for a moment, walking back towards the palace.
“Something wrong, dear?” Gail asked.
“No. Nothing.” He said. Gail and T.J. started walking away from the palace.
Gwen watched for a moment, and then went after Rose. She had to look high and low for her. She finally found her in the middle of a berry patch sulking alone.
“Well, what a pretty picture the Princess Cordelia Rose Renee II makes in the middle of a berry patch, crying.”
Rose snapped, “Oh, stuff it.”
Gwen said, “All right, out with it.”
Rose did not say anything. “Come on.” Gail said. “Don’t make me burn down the berries.”
Rose said, “It’s not fair. I only wanted to go on an adventure. Then she showed up. How humiliating.”
Gwen said, “Good grief. You princesses are all the same. Do dry your tears.”
Rose said, “Well, you can’t blame me.”
Gwen said, “For goodness sakes, go after him. Don’t let her sink her teeth into him.”
Rose said, “I thought you liked her.”
Gwen sighed. “I did. However, that was before I saw her in love. What a vindictive little shrew! She was playing with him like a dragon with a sheep.”
Rose said, “Nothing in the world could induce me to go back. I’m going home where I should have stayed in the first place.” Rose got up slowly. Suddenly a scream in the direction Gail and T.J. went was heard.
“She’s in danger!” Gwen said.
“Let her die. What do I care?” Rose asked, viciously.
“My goodness, aren’t we grouchy today? Come on. Get on my back, and we’ll go see what we can do.”
Rose sighed, and climbed on the dragon’s back. Gwen flew to T.J. who was bleeding, shaking his fist at the sky.
Rose got down quickly, and said, “T.J. What happened?”
“A dragon grabbed her. I put up a fight.”
Gwen said, “What did the dragon look like?”
“Dark blue scales, with yellow scales around the head.”
Gwen said, “Oh, lovely. The King of Dragons would decide on you to pick a fight.”
“The King of Dragons?” T.J. asked. Rose put a bandage from the provisions left behind on T.J.’s arm where it was bleeding.
“The most powerful of dragons. Really, it will be most difficult to get Gail back from him.”

Author: Yes, I'm aware of the fact the title has nothing to do with the story. So sue me.

THE CHRISTMAS TREE
HELLO, I’M SOCKS. YOU KNOW THE FAMILY CAT. I LIVE WITH A PRETTY BIG FAMILY. ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO OR SOMEWHERE TO GO. ALMOST NEVER TIME FOR THE CAT. OH, YES. CLEAN OUT THE LITTTER BOX, PUT FOOD AND WATER IN ITS BOWL. THAT’S ABOUT IT. OH, AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT CHRISTMAS. ALWAYS BUSY. BUT AFTER CHRISTMAS, THERE’S ALWAYS A NEW SCRATCHING POLE, OR FOOD DISH, OR COLLAR, OR CATNIP MOUSE OR SOMETHING. THEN LIFE USUALLY SETTLES DOWN TO NORMAL. WELL, NORMAL FOR THIS FAMILY ANYWAY.
SPEAKING OF FAMILY, I SUPPOSE I’D BETTER INTRODUCE YOU. THERE’S ALICE, THAT’S THE OLDEST WHO DAY DREAMS ABOUT BOYS. SHE’S USUALLY PRETTY KIND TO ME. THEN COMES SAMUEL WHO IS ALWAYS PLAYING HIS MUSIC TOO LOUD. HE’S ROUGH IN HANDLING ME, SO I STAY AWAY FROM HIM. THEN COMES JESSIE WHO IS INTO EVERYTHING HER FRIEND’S ARE. SHE’S ALL RIGHT FOR A TEENAGE KID. JOE IS THE NEXT IN LINE. HE’S A PRETEEN KID, AND IS TRYING TO GROW UP TOO FAST. THEN, MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, THERESA. SHE’S THE SWEETEST NINEYEAR OLD KID ON THE PLANET. THEN DAVID WHO IS ALWAYS CRAWLING AROUND TRYING TO GRAB MY TAIL. HE KEEPS ME IN SHAPE THOUGH. THEN THE BABY IS GRACE. SHE’S ALL RIGHT FOR A BABY.

Author: Oh the wonders and magic of a homeschool writing seminar.

THE BIRTHDAY GIFT

I WAS STANDING ON A STREET CORNER ONE DAY, WATCHING A LITTLE OLD LADY FINISH CROSSING THE STREET. I WAS PREPARING TO CROSS ANOTHER STREET, BUT FOR SOME REASON, I WATCHED HER INTENTLY. SUDDENLY, A CAR, JUMPING THE GREEN, CAME RIGHT NEXT TO THE ELDERLY LADY, BEFORE SLAMMING THE BRAKES, AND NARROWLY MISSING HER. EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNAL WAS RED, I RAN OUT TO SEE IF SHE WAS O.K. THE CAR WENT DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT EVEN STOPPING.
THE LADY WAS O.K. EVEN IF SHE WAS OUT OF BREATH. I HELPED HER ACROSS THE STREET LIKE A TRUE GIRL SCOUT. MY GIRL SCOUT LEADER WOULD HAVE FAINTED FROM DISBELIEF. I WAS USUALLY THE ONE WHO WAS CUTTING UP ALL THE TIME. I WAS JUST COMING FROM A MEETING, IN FACT. SHE HAD KEPT ME LATE TO LECTURE ME. AS SOON AS THE LADY WAS SAFELY ACROSS THE REST OF THE STREET, I WENT OVER TO A PUBLIC PHONE, AND CALLED THE POLICE.
MEANWHILE, THE HIT AND RUN DRIVERS WERE TALKING. “THINK THAT GIRL SAW US?” “NO WAY.” “ARE YOU SURE? IF SHE DID, WE’RE IN TROUBLE.” “SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE, SHE’S A YOUNG GIRL, EVEN IF SHE DID SEE US, WHO’S GONNA BELIEVE HER?” “THE POLICE MIGHT.” “YOU’RE JUST A NEEDLESS WORRYWART.” “YOU WOULD BE TOO, IF YOU HAD JUST ROBBED ABOUT $1,000,000 FROM A BANK FOR THE FIRST TIME.”

Author: I wrote this. It was actually published on a website (I got to put it up) and as far as I know, is still there, but I have since lost the link. If I find it again, I'll show you.

The Beggar
By Sarah Abbett
March 5, 2004


The beggar, dressed in dirty, ragged clothes, with a stench that signified no bathing for at least a month, dragged herself down the filthy slums. She walked with a limp. Sores and warts covered her. Her emaciated body barely had the strength to walk. As she walked along, bitter wailing and horrible blasphemes came out of her mouth. Not watching or caring where she was going, she soon came to several doors. She opened all of them, but none offered her rest or healing. Bitter and scornful, she limped on, cursing the world. Soon, she came to yet another door. Had she been paying attention, she would have noticed the bright rays of light seeping under the door. However, the beggar was too busy wallowing in her own self-misery to do anything but turn the knob.
When she stepped through the door, the entire court – for it looked very much like some courtroom – hushed. The beggar immediately thought she had made a mistake. From her past experience, she expected to be turned away, so she turned to leave. As she turned, a hand caught her by the wrist. She looked up into the face of a man who had a nametag declaring himself judge.
“MY DAUGHTER!” he cried, throwing his arms around her. “SHE HAS COME HOME!” The beggar, absolutely astonished, tried to deny the fact that she had any relationship to the man. He seemed not to notice. “COME IN! COME IN! We have all been eagerly waiting for you!” He said, excitedly. “We?” The now frightened beggar managed to stammer. The judge laughed, and pointed around the room.
Sure enough, there were all manner of people there, all dressed in fine clean white linen, wearing crowns on their head with sparkling jewels. When they saw her, they began to clap and cheer, breaking into an uproar. The beggar, completely embarrassed by all this unexpected attention, tried to stammer her protest, but the uproar drowned her out.
The judge decreed in the midst of the assembly, “FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, SHE SHALL BE MY BELOVED DAUGHTER!” The whole crowd cheered their acceptance. “Now, let’s get you out of those rags!” The judge said, motioning to someone nearby to bring something. Almost before you could say pumpernickel, the judge cleansed her, and dressed her in fine white linen. He set a crown on her head, and gave her a deed to valuable property.
The beggar was overwhelmed by such generosity when for years she had been in the streets, full of contamination and condemnation. She fell to her knees with tears in her eyes. “Sir – ” She began. The judge shook his head and said, “Call me Father.” The beggar began crying. She said, “Father of the fatherless then, for I have no father to speak of. How am I worthy of this? I am not truly your daughter. I am a horrible street guttersnipe worthy of nothing but to be thrown out with tomorrow’s trash. How can you do this for me?”
The judge smiled. He went over to the beggar, and kneeling down, put his arms around her. He wiped away the tears from her eyes, and kissed her on the forehead, making her cry harder. He then pointed to a cross on the wall. He said, very gently, “My darling daughter, I love you so very much. I paid a great price for you not so long ago. Now, you are free to enjoy life with me. You see, my beloved princess, there on that cross, I died so that you may have life and have it abundantly. My beloved, I then rose again, but still and for always, I will bear the scars of my sacrifice.” The judge then showed the weeping beggar the nail marks in his wrists, the scar marks on his forehead, the whip marks on his arms, legs, and back, and the nail mark through his ankles, as the entire court again hushed in awe.
“I don’t understand.” The beggar replied.
“I love you.” The man replied.
“I don’t deserve it.”
“I know that. I still love you.”
“Was it – necessary to die on the cross?” The beggar had tears streaming down her cheek.
The judge looked at her and said, “Oh, my beloved, I, Jesus of Nazareth, who set the stars in their place, did find it necessary to give my blood for your sin on the cross. You could not be with me of yourself, and you could not fix your situation. My precious child, I took your place and the place of every other seeker on earth.”
The former beggar rose to her feet. She said, “There is nothing I could do to repay this debt I owe to you.” She fell to her knees and then on her face. “I give you my life in full, and I acknowledge that you are my savior.”
Jesus smiled and said, “It is good.” And the entire court erupted in praise all over again.

Author: I'm not entirely sure, but I think this was supposed to be one of my Christie's cases.

THE BANK
I WAS SITTING IN MY OFFICE, CATCHING UP ON SOME PAPERWORK, WHEN MY SECRATARY CAME IN. “MR. JOHNSON ON LINE THREE, SIR.” “THANK YOU MR. GAR. I WON’T BE NEEDING ANYTHING.” I WAITED UNTIL HE EXITED, AND THEN PICKED UP THE PHONE, AND PRESSED THREE. “HELLO?” “THIS IS MR. JOHNSON. PLEASE COME DOWN TO THE BANK, AND DISCUSS SOME BUISNESS ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNT. IF YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS, PLEASE BRING THEM. THEY MAY WANT TO OPEN NEW ACCOUNTS.”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON’T HAVE AN ACOUNT AT YOUR BANK.” “YOU ARE MISTAKEN, SIR. I HAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER IN THE RECORDS.” “WHAT? I’VE NEVER BEEN TO YOUR BANK . . . OH! I’LL BE RIGHT THERE WITH THE POLICE.” “THANK YOU, SIR. YOUR BUISNESS IS VALUABLE TO ME.” I HUNG UP AND CALLED THE POLICE.

Author: Another one of those historical fiction projects I was too lazy to do research on.

THE ALAMO

DAN BEGAN HIS REGULAR WATCH ON THE WALLS. TOMORROW THOSE MEXICANS WERE GOING TO COME STREAMING OVER THE WALLS. IT DIDN’T MATTER THAT THEY WERE BETTER SHOOTERS. DAN HAD COME TO TRY AND HELP THEM, BUT IT WASN’T GOING TO BE MUCH USE. HE REMEMBERED THE SIGNAL THAT HAD SAID THEY WEREN’T TAKING ANY PRISONERS. HE THOUGHT OF HIS FOREST BACK HOME. DANIEL BOONE WAS HOMESICK.
DANIEL KEPT HIS EYES ON THE ROAD, BUT IN HIS HEART HE WAS WONDERING WHY HE WAS SO HOMESICK. WAS IT THE FARM, THE TREES, THE CREEK? NO, IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE. SOMETHING THAT WAS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. WAS IT A PERSON? NO, IMPOSSIBLE. HIS DAD WAS DEAD, AND HIS MOTHER WAS ALSO. HIS SISTER? NO. SHE WAS IN AN INSANE ASYLUM.
THEN WHAT WAS IT? DANIEL BOONE WATCHED AS THE SUN BEGAN TO SINK SLOWLY INTO THE WEST. HE CHECKED HIS GUN. IT WAS LOADED. GOOD, AT LEAST HE WOULD HAVE A CHANCE AGAINST THE MEXICANS. NOT A LARGE CHANCE, BUT A CHANCE. THE SUN WAS SPECTACULAR. IT MADE HIM THINK OF SOMEONE’S EYES LONG AGO IN THE WOODS. SOMEONE WHO WAS DEAD.
DANIEL QUICKLY CHECKED HIMSELF. NOT DEAD, JUST MARRIED. SUDDENLY HE SAW SOMETHING ODD. WAS IT A MIRAGE? NO, IT WAS THE MEXICAN ARMY. HE SOUNDED HIS BUGLE AS AN ALARM. ALL THE MEN BEGAN TO FLOOD TO THEIR PLACES. THEY COCKED THEIR GUNS AND WAITED. THEY KNEW THE ATTACK WOULD COME, BUT THEY DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE AT NIGHT.
THE MEXICAN TROOPS TURNED OUT TO JUST BE CAMPING FOR THE NIGHT. THAT FACT BROUGHT A SIGH OF RELIEF FROM EVERYBODY. DANIEL DECIDED TO GO VISIT HIS FRIEND WHO WAS WOUNDED AFTER HIS SHIFT. HE THEN BEGAN HIS PATROL ON THE WALLS AGAIN. FOR THE REST OF HIS SHIFT NOTHING HAPPENED. THEN AS THE NEXT OFFICER TOOK THE SHIFT, HE WENT TO GO SEE HIS FRIEND. “HOW YA’ DOIN’ FRED?” “JUST FINE, JIM.” JIM AND FRED WERE THE NICKNAMES THEY HAD FOR EACH OTHER.

CHAPTER TWO

“YOU DON’T LOOK SO HOT JIM.” “YOU DON’T LOOK SO GOOD YOURSELF FRED.” THEY BOTH LAUGHED FOR A WHIILE. THEN DANIEL WENT OUT FOR HIS NEXT SHIFT. THE PERSON WHOM HE WAS TO RELIEVE SAID, “YOU’RE A HALF AN HOUR LATE, DAN!” DAN FROWNED. OUT OF THE WHOLE CAMP, THERE WAS ONE FELLOW HE COULD NOT GET ALONG WITH. HE OF COURSE, WAS HIS RELIEF.
DANIEL COULDN’T STAND THE MAN. HE WAS ALWAYS AT LEAST AN HOUR LATE. DANIEL WAS NEVER LATE, YET THE MAN ALWAYS ACTED LIKE HE WAS. THE MAN’S NAME WAS JOHN. “OH, REALLY?” “WELL, NO YOU’RE NOT LATE, BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT.” DANIEL SIGHED. “I AM FIVE MINUTES EARLY. YOU HOWEVER WERE ALMOST AN HOUR LATE LAST TIME. IF YOU ARE SO MUCH AS ONE MINUTE LATE THIS TIME, I WILL REPORT IT TO THE GENERAL. IS THAT CLEAR?”
THE MAN ROLLED HIS EYES. “YES, SIR.” “GOOD. NOW THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER, DON’T BE LATE ANY OTHER TIME EITHER. GOT IT?” “YES, SIR.”

Author: Yes, this really IS the working title. Shut up.

The Adventure Story
In a far away land, there lived a king. His name was King Anthony. He lived with his wife and daughter in the land of Ankara. His daughter’s name was Princess Vanessa. His wife’s name was Queen Elizabeth. They were all very happy in their palace. King Anthony was a good king. He was a Christian, and set a very good example.
Unfortunately, not every body liked King Anthony. His advisor, Nicholas hated King Anthony. He did not always agree with his decisions, because Nicholas didn’t know any better. He didn’t know who Jesus was, or who God was. In fact, Nicholas was part of a conspiracy against the king. He was very sneaky in trying to find out where King Anthony would be, so Nicholas’ friends could imprison him, and take over the kingdom.
When the time for the uprising came, Princess Vanessa was having a ball. Nicholas’ friends disguised themselves as princes. Their fake prince names were Prince Henry, Prince Arthur, and Prince Max. Their real names were Harold, Jeremy, and Matthew. They danced with Princess Vanessa, but she did not like them at all. Even in prince disguises, they were abominable.
Nicholas began to prepare for the uprising, which was scheduled for midnight. His friends began to become tense, and irritated. Princess Vanessa noticed this when they danced with her, and wondered about their reason. She did not have long to find out. When the clock struck twelve, Nicholas, Harold, Jeremy, and Matthew lined up in front of King Anthony.
Nicholas stepped forth, and said, “King Anthony!” King Anthony turned his head towards Nicholas and said, “Yes, Advisor Nicholas?” “We have come

Author: I had even less idea what I was doing here than Tharicia.

Abbett, Sarah
Tharicia
I pulled the zipper across the bag, closing it tightly. I lifted the bag into the transporter, and teleported the bag to my new home. I felt so lovely, so adventurous, so free, and so limited. I felt an amazing amount of contrasts all at the same time, though I did not show it. I was leaving my parent’s home to go to work at a company called Farfleet. The company dealt with outer space exploration which meant I could be sent anywhere for any length of time at anytime. This was going to be a new experience for me, because I had never even moved out of my parent’s home.
I was going to miss my parents. I hugged my mom and dad and told them goodbye. They tearfully bade me farewell as I teleported myself to my new Farfleet quarters. Because Farfleet employees were perpetually on call to get shipped somewhere, we had to live at the Farfleet Living Quarters. I was going to live with some of my friends, so I thought that it would be a good deal.
However, when I got to the Farfleet Living Quarters, there was a note waiting for me. It read as follows:
To our new space cadet Pauline Thatcher:
Greeting from Farfleet headquarters! You, yes you (you lucky person you) are being assigned a new mission! This mission could possibly take you across galaxies (or just assign you to permanent janitorial duty here). Please check your computer messages for further details! And good luck!
The Farfleet Management
I thought to myself Oh, joy. I plugged in my laptop, and sure enough, there was an e-mail from Farfleet waiting there for me. I opened it with a voice command. It read:
To Pauline Thatcher:
You are assigned to Mission Find-A-Planet. This mission, started by our founder H.J. Retwall in 2222, is very central to the Farfleet Mission. Your mission, whether or not you choose to believe it is there, is to go into outer space and find a new planet, report on it and on its inhabitants, and come back (preferably in one piece). If you, or any of your crew so desire, you also have Farfleet’s authorization to begin a new colony on your planet, and (if any inhabitants living there let you) name the planet. Good luck space cadet!
The Farfleet Management
I groaned, and put my head down on the desk. This mission was the one they gave to people when they did not want to bother putting them anywhere else. I was un-enthused (to say the least) about the mission, and wished I had never joined up with Farfleet. I wanted to stay here, close to my parents, and settle down for a while, not go off chasing some planet! I sighed and said out loud to myself, “Well, at least I do not have to get packed again.”

Author: No, I don't know what I was trying to do, thank you very much.

Tharicia
One day, a fearless traveler named Yvonne Reid in the year of our Lord 3000 anno domini decided to implement cutting-edge technology to find a new planet, being bored with Earth and the North American Continent in general. She climbed aboard the massive starship called Discover and flew off with her crew. Her friends and family were unsurprised. Yvonne was always pulling this kind of stuff. You see, Yvonne had taken off for a mission . . . and not told anyone except the people at Farfleet (the dominant power in space technology at the time). Yvonne liked pulling unexpected rebel stunts, and all around her had gotten used to it (although, it must be admitted that being friends with Yvonne was much like liking peanut butter and pickle sandwiches with ketchup – it was an acquired taste).

I took my shift off from bridge (the first one since we got on board) and left my commander in charge. I decided, out of sheer boredom, to go to the Observation Room and see what could be seen. I took the PTPTS (place to place transport system) to deck 5 (where the Observation Room was). I walked along the hallway, meandering along, not really paying any attention to where I was going or what I was doing.
Suddenly, I bumped (hard!) into the wall, and fell down. I looked around and no one had seen me. I quickly got up and continued walking as if my stride had not broken. I got to the Observation Room, and looked at the stars. It was incredible. I do not think I have ever seen that many stars together before in my life!
Right then, I knew that this little ‘rebellious act’ was no longer that. It had now touched my heart and become my desire: to find a new planet out somewhere among the stars.

Author: The first story I can remember writing . . . what bittersweetness.

SUPER BEARY

ONCE UPON A TIME, IN THE FAR AWAY LAND OF SIPHON, THERE WAS A SPECIAL PANDA BEAR. THAT BEAR’S NAME WAS SUPER BEARY! SUPER BEARY GOT HIS NAME FROM THE FACT THAT HE WAS BORN WITH WINGS. THE VILLAGERS IN THE TOWN OF SIPHON CALLED THE MOUNTAINS WHERE SUPER BEARY LIVED THE GREAT PANDA MOUNTAINS.
THE VILLAGERS KNEW ALL ABOUT SUPER BEARY, AND THEY FED SUPER BEARY BAMBOO. NOT JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SOMETHING HE LIKED, BUT BECAUSE HE GOT HIS STRENGTH FROM BAMBOO.
SUPER BEARY’S ONE WEAKNESS WAS SPIDERS. THE VILLAGERS KNEW OF THIS WEAKNESS, AND DID THEIR BEST TO KEEP THE MOUNTAIN SPIDER FREE.
MEANWHILE, A VERY EVIL PEACOCK THAT LIVED ON ONE OF THE OTHER GREAT PANDA MOUNTAINS WAS GETTING MAD. YOU SEE HE HAD BEEN WELL LIKED BEFORE THE VILLAGERS HAD FOUND SUPER BEARY. NOW THE PEOPLE DIDN’T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM, EXCEPT TO TALK OF KILLING HIM FOR THANKSGIVING.
THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR THE PEACOCK. HE DEVISED A VERY EVIL PLAN. WHAT IS THE PEACOCK PLANNING? WHAT WILL HE DO TO SUPER BEARY? FIND OUT IN SUPER BEARY 2!

Basically they are all plot bunnies. Take one, take two, take them all, I don't care. They have been cluttering up the dusty regions of my CPU. I hope they find a home, but they're free to roam, whatever happens to them.

Author: *cringe* i cant believe i wrote this. . .

Starstomp: The Evil Asters

Prelude

“You’re not going to the mall because you’re grounded.” “Why am I grounded?” “Because you went to the mall when I told you not to.” “That makes no sense.” This was just one of many arguments that Captain Bob Jones had with his daughter. Their voices were usually at the level where dogs ran whimpering. Today was no exception.
Suddenly the phone rang. “Hello?” Bob yelled into the phone. “Sorry. I’ve had a bad day today.” “This is Admiral Mark Candle.” “Hello, sir.” “At ease, Captain.” “Yes, sir.” “We have new orders for you and your daughter.” “Yes sir?” “You are going to the colony on Stellar Asteroid. We want to make sure there have been no disasters. Got it?" “Yes, sir.”

Chapter One

So began one of the greatest adventures of Captain Bob Jones’ career. As soon as he got off the phone he said, “Asterisk!” “What have I done NOW?” “Nothing. Pack your bags. We’re leaving for Stellar Asteroid ASAP!” “WHAT?” “Did you hear me?” “Yes I did, but what about my friends and the life I have here?” “You’ll make new friends. I promise. We’ll be coming back as soon as we check up on the colony anyhow.”
“Oh, gee. How fun. I get to leave my friends for summer vacation, go on a trip I don’t want to, so I can make new ones. Then as soon as I make those new friends, I have to come back here where no one will remember me. Yea, dad. Sounds real fun.” Asterisk stomped off to her room.
“Where did I go wrong?” Bob Jones wondered aloud. Suddenly the phone rang again. “Hello?” “Hi Bob. This is Bill Smith, your old first mate on the S. S. Louisiana.” “Hi Bill. Are you going to be free for a while?” “Well, since I’m in between jobs right now, I guess so. Why?” “I’ve got a job for you.”
“What?” “How would you like to go to Stellar Asteroid?” “Sure.” “You’d be going with me and my daughter.” “All right. When?” “Meet me as soon as possible on base.” “Yes, sir.” Bill hung up. Bob also hung up, and then went up stairs to pack his things.
When he was done, he forced Asterisk to pack her things, and then dragged her kicking and screaming to the base. He saw Bob immediately, and came over to him. “Hi Bob.” “Hi Bill. You sound a little worn out.” “Well, just between you and me Asterisk is being a pain.”
Bob just smiled. “Will you wipe that smirk off your face?” Bob quickly replaced that smile with a regular look. “Much better.” “Does Farfleet have rules about smiles now?” “Not that I’m aware of. Why?” “Oh, I wouldn’t mention it, except that you’re the third captain today to tell me to wipe a smirk off my face.”
Bill laughed and laughed. Bob was the kind of guy who could change an order into laughter without punishment. Unlike his serious captain, he had a great sense of humor and was always laughing. That was one of the many things he had to work on. Maybe Bob could teach him some good jokes.

Author: This story would probably work better if I knew more about Robin Hood.

SHERWOOD

“THERE WE ARE, JOHN!” CRIED ROBIN HOOD. “WE GOT THEM, THIS TIME!” LITTLE JOHN SMILED AND SAID, “EXACTLY WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY.” THE OTHER MEN HAD A GOOD LAUGH AT THAT AND SO DID ROBIN. “WELL, LITTLE JOHN, I THINK WE ARE STILL GOING TO GET THEM.” LITTLE JOHN WINKED AT THE OTHER MEN AND SAID, “OF COURSE, ROBIN, WHATEVER YOU SAY.” THE MEN LAUGHED AT THAT ALSO. “QUIET!” CALLED ROBIN. HE PULLED HIS BOW AND GOT READY TO SHOOT . . .
THE SHERIFF BEGAN RIDING PAST WITH HIS FAT BAG OF GOLD JINGLING. THAT FACT, ROBIN DETESTED. HE COULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD FRIEND WITH THE SHERIFF, HAD HE NOT BEEN SUCH A CROOK. HE SIGHED AND FELL DOWN ON THE ROAD AND BEGAN TO OVERTAKE THE LITTLE CLAN. HE HIMSELF WOULD TAKE THE BAG OF GOLD, WHICH GAVE HIM A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE.
THEY OF COURSE OVERTOOK THE SHERIFF. THEY INVITED HIM FOR A FEAST. THE SHERIFF AND HIS GANG VERY WARILY AGREED. AT THE END OF THE FEAST, ROBIN HOOD SAID, “NOW SHERIFF, YOU MUST PAY FOR OUR FEAST. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN THAT JINGLING BAG OF YOURS?”
“ONLY 5 POUNDS.” EVERYONE IN ROBIN’S GANG LAUGHED HEARTILY. EVEN A FEW OF THE SHERIFF’S MEN LAUGHED. ROBIN SAID, “ALL RIGHT MEN, SEARCH THE BAG. IF HE IS LYING TAKE ALL BUT A FEW POUNDS. IF HE IS NOT, THEN TAKE ONLY 2 POUNDS.” LITTLE JOHN GOT UP THE QUICKEST AND EMPTIED THE BAG. EVEN AN IDIOT COULD TELL THERE WAS MORE THAN 5 POUNDS IN THAT BAG.
ALL OF ROBIN’S MEN HAD A GOOD LAUGH. ROBIN SAID, “LEAVE 3 POUNDS, LITTLE JOHN, SINCE THAT’S HOW MUCH HE WOULD HAVE LEFT WITH, HAD HE REALLY HAD 5 POUNDS.” THE SHERIFF SPRANG TO HIS FEET AND SAID, “THERE’S OVER A HUNDRED POUNDS IN THERE!” EVERYONE LAUGHED AT THAT, EXCEPTING THE SHERIFF. “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST, AND YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT WITH MORE,” SAID ROBIN.

CHAPTER TWO

THE SHERIFF SAT DOWN AGAIN AND SULKED WHILE LITTLE JOHN COUNTED OUT THREE POUNDS AND PUT IT BACK IN THE BAG. HE THEN PUT THE REST IN A BEAUTIFUL CHEST. “NOW THEN, BLINDFOLD OUT GUESTS AND LEAD THEM OUT.

Author: Inverse Twain meets Doyle.


SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE 21ST CENTURY

“HI JESSICA.” THE DISTACTED SCIENTIST ONLY MUTTERED THINGS UNDER HER BREATH, AND NOT ALL WERE NICE THINGS. “IT’S ME, CHRISTINA, REMEMBER?” “OF COURSE I REMEMBER.” JESSICA MUTTERED MORE THINGS UNDER HER BREATH. “IT’S TOO BAD YOU’RE NOT A CHRISTIAN. THEN YOU WOULDN’T SWEAR.” “SWEARING? YOU CALL THAT SWEARING?” CHRISTINA SMILED.
“NOW THAT I’VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” “YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD YOU. I HAVE TO GET THIS EXACTLY RIGHT, AND I DON’T NEED ANY DISTRACTIONS RIGHT NOW.” SHE ADDED FOUR DROPS FROM ONE BEAKER ON HER DESK, AND THREE FROM ONE IN A CD RACK.
“THERE, I’VE DONE ALL I WAS SUPPOSED TO. IF IT DOESN’T WORK, I REFUSE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. NOW WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED CHRISTINA?” JESSICA TURNED AROUND. CHRISTIAN HAD LEFT WITHOUT EVEN SAYING GOODBYE. JESSICA SHRUGGED, AND SAT DOWN FOR A MINUTE RUBBING HER HEAD. SHE HATED TRANSPORTER SYSTEMS.
SUDDENLY A HAND HIT HER SHOULDER. SHE LOOKED UP INTO THE FACE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES. “IT WORKED.” JESSICA WHISPERED. “ARE YOU . . . SHERLOCK HOLMES?” “YES, WHY? YOU MUST HAVE A MYSTERY FOR ME TO SOLVE, RIGHT?” “WELL THAT’S PART OF IT, BUT FOR RIGHT NOW, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF IT WORKED OR NOT.” “WHERE’S WATSON?” “HOPEFULLY COMING SOON.” “YOU SOUND LIKE HIM.” “I SHOULD. I’M HIS GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRAND DAUGHTER.” “YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE HIM TOO. YES, IF YOU PUT WATSON IN A DRESS, YOU COULD PASS AS IDENTICAL TWINS. EXCEPT THAT HE’S A LITTLE OLDER AND FATTER THAN YOU.”
“WELL!” STANDING THERE WAS DR. WATSON. “IT’S NICE TO KNOW I’M APPRECIATED.” JESSICA SAT THERE STARING INTO SPACE. “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT WORKED.” “YOUR VOICE SOUNDS FAMILIAR.” JESSICA SMILED AT DR. WATSON’S REMARK. “THAT’S A LONG STORY.” “WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL US WHAT WE’RE DOING HERE, OR DO WE HAVE TO GUESS?”
“IT WOULD BE FUN TO HAVE YOU GUESS, BUT YOU’VE PROBABLY ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT.” “YES, YOU’RE A SCIENTIST, AND A MESSY ONE AT THAT. YOU WISH OUR SERVICES.” “HE’S GOOD.” “THANK YOU.” “I KNOW HE’S GOOD. I WORKED WITH HIM REMEMBER?” “BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED.” “WHAT?” “NEVER MIND.”
DR. WATSON LOOKED AT HER QUEERLY. JESSICA HAD THE EERIE FEELING IT WAS THE FIRST OF MANY QUEER STARES SHE WAS GOING TO GET. “MARRIED? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” “YOU’RE NOT IN LONDON ANYMORE. OR KANSAS FOR THAT MATTER.” “I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN KANSAS.” “IT’S AN EXPRESSION.” “OH, LIKE IT’S RAINING CATS AND DOGS.” “RIGHT. ONLY, WE DON’T USE THAT ONE ANYMORE.”
“YOU DON’T?” “NO, OF COURSE NOT. IF YOU SAID THAT, EVERYONE WOULD LOOK UP AT THE SKY, AND EXPECT TO SEE CATS AND DOGS COMING DOWN. OF COURSE, THEY REALLY DID IN LONDON.” THEN BOTH DR. WATSON AND SHERLOCK HOLMES LOOKED AT HER QUEERLY. “UH, NEVER MIND.” “I’VE NEVER SEEN THEM.” “NEITHER HAVE I.”
“EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO CALL CHRISTINA, AND TELL HER IT WORKED.” “WHAT WORKED?” “MY EXPERIMENT, OF COURSE. EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT.” JESSICA WENT TO THE PHONE, KEEPING ONE EYE ON DR. WATSON AND SHERLOCK HOLMES. “CHRISTINA, IS THAT YOU?” “YES, WHO IS THIS?” “THIS IS JESSICA, CALLING TO APOLOGIZE, AND SAY IT WORKED.” “I DON’T KNOW WHAT WORKED, BUT IF IT’S REALLY YOU, I’LL BE RIGHT OVER.”
“OF COURSE IT’S ME.” “I’M COMING AS FAST AS I CAN.” “DON’T FORGET TO BRING MEDICNE THAT WAS USED TO ACT AGAINST THE BLACK PLAGUE.” “HUH?” “NEVER MIND, JUST DO IT.” “O.K., JESSICA, BUT IF YOU ASK ME, YOU’RE GETTING A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY THIS TIME.” “I DIDN’T ASK YOU, AND IF YOU WERE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THE PEOPLE I AM, YOU WOULD GET CARRIED AWAY TOO.”
“WHO ARE YOU WITH?” “YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD YOU.” “TRY ME.” “SHERLOCK HOLMES AND DR. WATSON.” “YEAH, RIGHT.” “I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME.” “O.K., SURE I’LL BRING THE MEDICINE.” “PLEASE HURRY, SHERLOCK’S LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.” “OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY NEED THIS FOR, BUT I’LL BRING IT ANYWAY.” “I REALLY NEED IT FOR HIM.”
“LOOK JESSICA,” CAME THE EXASPERATED VOICE “I DON’T MIND BRINGING YOU THE MEDICINE, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT FOR.” “I’M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU THIS TIME CHRISTINA. GET IT OVER HERE, NOW!”

Author: an emo prince. woe is him. *eye roll*


Prince Paul sighed in despair. He was 16 and high old enough to have an adventure. The problem was he was allergic to adventures. He had first been diagnosed with adventurephobia when a horse got loose when he was 15. When Prince Paul went to look for it, he sneezed constantly, had a headache, fever, and red eyes.
The royal doctor was completely dumbfounded as to how this could have occurred. He made many hypotheses but none of them could get around the fact that Prince Paul was of noble blood. Noble blood, at least where Prince Paul lived, guaranteed adventures. Why, this fact was written on the Royal Fairy Tale Commandments. The only two plausible solutions the doctor could come up with were that the Prince would outgrow this malady or that he was not really of royal blood. He had suggested the latter after he retired and moved some distance away of course.
Anyway, Prince Paul thought the solution that he was not royalty was ridiculous. His parents would have had to have said something by now. They were ordered by the Royal Fairy Tale Commandments to spill the whole thing on his fifteenth birthday unless they were dead, and then they were required by law to have someone else tell the child the story. Prince Paul was already a few months into being sixteen, and his parents were in fine health, so that obviously was not the case. However, his logic ran that if, he was indeed, going to outgrow this malady, he would like to know when.
Prince Paul was sick and tired of having this disease. He decided the only way he was going to get rid of his allergic reaction to adventure was by having many adventures. However, whenever he began on one, his reaction became worse as time passed, even to the point of breaking out horrifically in hives and he had to go home. It was terribly frustrating, especially with princesses.
He was forever being hounded by his parents to settle down with some nice princess. The problem was that all the princesses wanted to be rescued from something. This classified as an adventure, and Prince Paul’s allergies knew it. He could not even go out to rescue one from an evil stepmother without sneezing all over the place. In addition, princesses were very fussy about just who rescued them. All of them hated constant sneezing. Therefore, the unlucky Prince Paul stayed home.
Prince Paul, being of royal blood, was positively forbidden by the Royal Fairy Tale Commandments to work unless on an adventure. He simply sat around the castle with nothing to do all day long. It was very boring, especially when politics were involved. Prince Paul hated politics with his whole being.
One day Prince Paul decided to run away and have an adventure, but he would go incognito. That way, perhaps his allergies would not bother him. He easily slipped out of the castle and into the woods. He mentally changed his name from Prince Paul (which he had never liked anyway) to Charles. He set off into the woods that by law surrounded all castles. He was pleased to discover that adventurephobia only plagued him when his name was Prince Paul.
He walked along the road waiting for an adventure. All sorts of adventures may run into you when you are simply taking a stroll and minding your own business. However, adventures may choose to plague someone else, and you will end up just as bored at the end as you were at the beginning. Also, be warned, that it is always a risky business to try to lure an adventure to you, for you will always end up with more than you bargained for.
Fortunately, Charles was in luck. There was a perfectly good adventure just waiting to happen, and it, with the wisdom of adventures, chose him. Charles stumbled right over a root of a tree, and went crashing into the ground. He was instantly face to face with an irate mole. “Just who do you think you are, crashing into my house?” The mole demanded. “I suppose that just because you’re some stuck up prince with his nose in the air, you think you can go crashing into anybody’s house! Well, you are quite wrong, Prince Who-ever-you-are. Stay out!”
Charles was not as surprised as you are I would have been simply because of his upbringing. It was not unusual for animals to talk, especially magical ones. He managed to pull himself out of the hole, and said, with all the upbringing of a spoiled young prince, “I didn’t do it on purpose. I was only looking for an adventure. I rather think that you would put up signs if this is not the first time. It is not entirely my fault – I think an adventure just hit me. You have a lovely house.” He finished lamely, for by that time the mole was staring angrily at him.
“Go on and be on your way then.” The mole slammed the door shut. Charles got up and rubbed his ankle, which he had turned slightly when tripping. Apparently, he had acquired, along with a new name, an amount of cloddishness. He heard a laugh and looked up. It was a princess. One with golden sandals, fair skin, and golden hair. She had clean-white clothes made of silk. She wore a golden crown on her head with rubies, amethysts, and beryl stones. Her blue eyes twinkled merrily, and Prince Paul thought that out of all the Princesses he had ever seen, this one surely qualified as one of the most beautiful. She was amused by his sudden visit to the mole, and laughed. Her laugh was like a music box, and was very pretty. Charles sighed and slowly stood up. It suddenly occurred to him that he was going to need a new identity along with his new name. He instantly decided he was an honorable woodcutter’s son who had been recently orphaned.
The princess was looking at him with a smile, and began laughing again. “What?” Charles asked. The Princess spoke in a voice as clear and beautiful as a diamond, “Oh, nothing. It’s just nice to know that I’m not the only one who stumbles over tree roots.” “What do you mean?” “I also met the mole the same way you did.” “Aha. What’s your name, fair princess?” “Oh, bother. Not another silly, stuck up prince. My name is Princess Danielle. What is your name prince?”
Charles sighed. “I’m no prince. I am a recently orphaned woodcutter’s son. My name is Charles.” “Oh, drat. Even worse. A silly, stuck up prince with adventurephobia.” “Huh?” “Oh, knock it off. I can see right through you. You are wearing royal clothes and are acting silly. Of course you are a prince. Just with adventurephobia.” Charles began to sneeze. “Oh, and here come the allergies. Wonderful.”
“It’s not my fault.” Charles said. “All right, who put the curse on you?” “Curse?” “Yes. You must have some evil relative who put the curse on you.” “You’ve heard of adventurephobia before?” “Oh, yes. Quite common.” “Do you know how to cure it?” “Yes. It is very simple. Simply drink a glass of cold lemon-water and hold your breath while you do it. It is like getting rid of the hiccups. Only you have to drink the lemon water while you’re actually having the reaction to adventures.”
Charles’ jaw dropped. “Does it really work?” “Yes, of course. Now, what’s your real name, prince?” Charles let out a long sigh. “Prince Paul.” “Hmm. I can see why you changed your name.” “That’s not my fault either, you know.” “Of course. Now, if you will excuse me, I will be on my way. I’m on my way to see about a betrothal to another silly, snobbish prince.” Prince Paul said, “Well, goodbye, then.” He watched her go, and kicked at a nearby bush after she was gone. He then trudged home.
He arrived home, and there were his parents at the gate. His mother saw him first and said, “Oh, thank goodness you’re all right. We were worried sick about you.” She gave him a hug. “Now, go right on in and wash up fast. We have an unexpected guest coming.” “Blast. Was Demeter late with the mail again? That dwarf is unreliable.” “Now, now. He may be late now and again, but he is such a good dwarf. Now go on and change.” “Who’s the guest?” “Some princess.”
Prince Paul stopped. He turned around and said, “What does she want?” “Oh, now dear, do be kind. She is here to see about a marriage arrangement. She is coming to see if she likes you. Go on before she gets here.” Prince Paul looked at his mom, and said slowly, “What’s her name?” “Let me check.” Queen Charity, Prince Paul’s mother, took the letter out of her purse. “Ah, yes. Princess Danielle.”
“Hmm. I saw her in the forest. I wonder if she knows I am Prince Paul. I told her my name, but she probably does not even remember who’s she coming to see. Well, good I can give her a surprise.” He went inside, wearing a grim smile, just as Princess Danielle came out of the woods. His father, King Balthazar, spotted her first and went to greet her.
King Balthazar said majestically, “Greetings to you, Princess Danielle in the name of my kingdom.” “Greetings to you also, King Balthazar, in the name of my kingdom.” Princess Danielle returned, rather wearily. Queen Charity went forward and said in a friendly voice, “Greetings to you, my prospective daughter-in-law, in the name of the kingdom I share with my husband.” “Greetings to you also, Queen Charity, my prospective mother-in-law in the name of the kingdom that my parents rule over.” Princess Danielle said in a monotone voice. King Balthazar said, “Well, now that the introductions are over, I suppose you’ll be wanting to meet Prince Paul.”
The Princess said, “Oh, is that your sons’ name? I met him already in the forest. I can save you a lot of time, trouble, and heartache now by just going back to my kingdom. I’m not interested in a foolish, clumsy prince, who can’t even cure his own allergies.” “As I recall, you said yourself you did the same acrobatic feet that I accomplished this afternoon.” Prince Paul said, having gone around by the back way, and thus he caused everyone to jump. “Mercy Paul!” Queen Charity exclaimed. “Why don’t you ever have the decency to tell people you’re sneaking up behind them?”
The Princess said, “Oh, that’s quite all right. In fact, this is very good. Now we can solve this marriage problem finally. I’m not interested.” Prince Paul said, “Good. I’m not interested in someone who calls other people names when they hardly know them.” “Good. Then it is settled. No marriage between us.” Princess Danielle said hopefully. “Yes. Good and settled.” Prince Paul said, emphatically and Princess Danielle sighed in relief. King Balthazar and Queen Charity were not so quick to come to the same conclusion, however.
Queen Charity said, “Now, now, now. You hardly know each other. How do you know you will not marry each other when you do not even know each other? Mercy, you would think that you had known each other to be bandits for years to hear you.” King Balthazar said, “Absolutely. I agree with your mother, Paul. After all, how can we send Danielle back without even trying to make a match between you two?”
Danielle said, “You may try all you like. It will not happen if I have anything to say about it.” Paul said, “That goes double for me.” Both of the monarchs sighed, and said nothing more. They knew that it would be best simply to leave the two alone, and not to interfere.

Author: Named after a dear friend who had an sn similar to this.



Party of 8



By



Sarah Abbett



And



Jessica Edwards



The dimly lighted pizza parlor in Kalamazoo Michigan offered a wide arrangement of seating choices, even though few people knew it even existed. It had six booths for groups and ten tables for two people. It offered some varieties of pizza, although it was not modern by any means. The owners were a husband and wife, though they do not factor in this story until the end.
On that auspicious day, the first to walk in was John Daniel Carpenter. He was looking for a place to begin his Science homework. He ordered a small pepperoni pizza, and then scooted up to a table to begin his homework. He was immensely fond of science and was very good at it. His brown eyes glowed as his hulking 6’2” frame bent over his work.
Moseying in second was Jordan Michael Smith. His favorite food was pizza and he knew all the pizza storeowners by sight. As he walked in, the owners greeted him and immediately began cooking his favorite kind of pizza: sausage. He had some math homework, which he absolutely despised, but it had to be done. Giving a low sigh, his blue eyes looked serious as his 5’7” frame concentrated on finishing his homework as he sat in one of the booths.
Wandering in as the third customer came Joanne Ruth McFarland. Her light brown hair flowed over her shoulder as her blue eyes sparkled at the sight of a place to sit down. She had just come from PE, her least favorite class. She sat down at a booth, and waited for her boyfriend Guy Peterson to pass by. To assuage the owners, she ordered a slice of cheese pizza, although she was really hoping for some chocolate.
Strolling in fourth was Julia Ann McDaniel. Her red hair pulled back into a ponytail denoted her Irish heritage as did her ordering the spiciest pizza in the parlor: chili pizza. She sat down at a table, and pushed back to relax. She pulled out some paper and began to concentrate on her art homework. Her green eyes mused over the picture as she began to sketch her fancies.
Ambling along the street, Christine Elizabeth Andrews came along the parlor by complete accident. She had been looking for her favorite candy shop, but had turned too early. She walked in, and decided that it was a good place to work on her French homework. She ordered ham pizza, although she really was not very hungry. She sat down at a table by the window, and began to write down the French dialogue that had to be memorized by the next day. She often looked out the window, daydreaming of what life was like elsewhere.
Chris Robert Lee, actually on his way to his house to feed his goldfish Spiky, suddenly felt a craving for pizza. He came in, and quickly ordered a cheese pizza. He nearly jumped into the booth, opening his laptop and began to work on his computer. His 6’0” frame bent over the computer as his brown eyes merely concentrated on his work and nothing else. He did not even seem to see or hear anything else as he typed loudly on his keyboard.
Hope Rose Wright dashed into the parlor, and dropped quickly down at a booth near the door. She hurriedly ordered a pepperoni pizza and sat down at her booth, panting. She got a napkin and began wiping down the booth table, noticing that some bits of lettuce were stuck on it. Her hazel eyes looked concerned as she carefully wadded up the napkin and threw it in the garbage.
Brian Matthew Hunter was the last to enter. He plopped into a chair and ordered only a soda. His green eyes glared as he dragged out his math homework. He despised math homework and was exceedingly poor at it. He tried to forget everything by throwing all his energy from anger into his homework. It did not serve him well. He ended up making more mistakes than usual, which only made him angrier.

Author: Like it says, pretty much.

Archie Smith, Boy Wonder
A tiny voice asked, “Is he the one?” Another tiny voice answered, “I think so. In fact, I’m fairly certain. Yes, he is. I think.”
Archie Smith woke up, and found himself in a place he had seen once before in a nightmare. He stared up at the lights and tried to move without success. “It will do no good to struggle.” A tiny voice said. “Why am I here?” Archie asked in a voice that was struggling to sound calm.
The tiny voice laughed. “What’s so funny?” Archie demanded. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” “Where are you? Who are you? Why have you brought me here? Where am I?” “One at a time! I can’t answer those all at once.” “Are you going to answer them or not?”

Under the Rug
Two weeks passed, and it happened again. That strange, mysterious bump under the rug. He hurled a chair at it, and it disappeared again. On the fourth week when it happened again, the man lifted up the rug and found nothing. He looked at the back of the rug, and felt all over with his hand, but found nothing. When he placed the rug back down, there was no bump.
Two weeks later right on schedule the bump appeared again. As the man watched, he was sure he saw the bump move right before it disappeared.

A Strange Day in July
He threw with all his might, but the third stone came skipping back. Just like the first and second. Suddenly, the water began to ripple. Suddenly a mermaid arose out of the sea, and looked shyly at Claire and me. She said softly, “Want to play catch?” I looked at Claire, who nodded. “Sure.” I said.
The mermaid smiled, and asked, “Want to play with my rules or yours?” “We don’t know your rules, and you seem to know ours . . .” “I teach you!” She grabbed our arms, and pulled us into the water.
Amazingly, we could breathe and talk under water. The mermaid said, “Follow me.” She began to swim off. Claire went before me, and I began to swim after her.

Missing in Venice
Even with her mighty engines in reverse, the ocean liner was pulled farther and farther into the canal as if something was pulling it. The mighty ocean liner crashed into a building, as she began to round a curve. The liner was trying with all her might to get out of the canal, but the liner began going faster.
As the liner helplessly turned the corner, it rammed another building as it came to a bend. It plowed into a tiny bridge, and slowly continued it’s way through the tiny canal, as I watched, horror-stricken.

Another Place, Another Time
If there were an answer, he’d find it there. He tied the sail down and waited for the wind to blow. They didn’t have to wait long, for at exactly sunset, the wind began to blow. “Here we go!” He shouted, as the wind began to pick up. The wind picked them up off of the railroad tracks, and began carrying them to the mountains.

Uninvited Guests
His heart was pounding. He was sure he had seen the doorknob turn. He sat there in a frightened stupor as the tiny door began to slowly open. His heart pounded as the door s-l-o-w-l-y opened all the way.
At first, the bright glare blinded his view of whatever was at the door. He turned his head away from the bright sunlight, but when he heard the door shut, he turned his head to see who or what had come in the strange little door he had discovered only a few moments ago.
He let out a scream as he saw what had come in the door. He ran up the stairs screaming like a banshee.

The Harp
So it’s true, he thought, really true. His dog barked, as if in warning. Suddenly, the harp began to play, even though nobody was near it. There were ripples on the surface of the pond, while the harp continued to play without assistance. I watched in fascination as the ripples got bigger and bigger.
My dog barked and growled until I said, “Be quiet, Rex.” Even then, he continued to whine.

Mr. Linden’s Library
He had warned her about the book. Now it was too late. The plant began to grow and grow. But I guess I should tell you about her and about Mr. Linden’s library before I tell you about the plant.
Mr. Linden was not what he appeared to be. Nor was his library or his books. Mr. Linden was – to all appearances – a librarian with a lot of books. All of them had something different about them. Some had good things, others had bad things, and still others had many mysterious things, which it is doubtful, if even Mr. Linden understood them completely.
Now about her. She had gone to the magical library only the morning before. She picked out a dangerous book, which Mr. Linden had forgotten to put away.

The Seven Chairs
The fifth one ended up in France. It was being used for a church priest when our hero found it. While he was trying to get the priest off the fifth chair, he wished he knew where the other six were. He knew this was the fifth one because it floated. Each of the seven chairs had a different magical power.
The first one moved by telepathic thinking. All you had to do was wish it was in a certain spot, and there it was. The second one floated on water where no other chair could float, the third chair could not be burned by the hottest fire, the fourth one grew and shrunk to the size of the people who sat in it, the fifth as I have told you floated, the sixth chair provided comfort depending on how good you are.
Let me explain about the sixth chair. You see, if you had been bad, it would turn into a cheap lawn chair. Nobody can sit in those things comfortably. If you had been good, it would become feather soft, and you would relax.
The seventh and final chair, no body was quite sure about. In fact, no body was even sure it existed.

The Third-Floor Bedroom
It all began when someone left the window open. The dove felt the breeze lift it’s wing off the wallpaper. The dove opened its eyes, and felt the breeze for the first time.
The bird felt the breeze begin to lift it’s head off the wallpaper. His second wing came loose, and he tried to fly, and found his tail was still stuck.

Just Dessert
She lowered the knife, and it grew even brighter. She put the knife in the drawer, and immediately the pumpkin faded to normal. What else should she expect from a pumpkin grown in Mrs. Lomb’s garden? Well, she couldn’t just stand there staring at the pumpkin. Her husband would be home pretty soon with his boss, and he would expect his favorite dessert – pumpkin pie.

Captain Tory
He swung his lantern three times, and slowly the schooner appeared. He sung his lantern a fourth time and he disappeared along with the schooner, and I woke up in my bed, and wondered if it had all been a dream.
My mother came in, and said, “Get up Samuel.” I looked out the window. Why, it wasn’t even dawn yet! Was my Mother out of her mind? “Why? It isn’t even dawn yet.” “You’re going fishing with your Uncle today.” I suddenly realized something. This was happening exactly as my dream had.

Oscar and Alphonse
She knew it was time to send them back. The caterpillars softly wiggled in her hand, spelling out “goodbye.” She put them down, and watched them go as she thought about how she had gotten the caterpillars, and what they had done for her.
It had been a cold winter day. The earth had seemed dead, and unable to ever produce life again. She had just moved here with her parents and had no friends yet. As she walked in the field next to Mr. Ryan’s pond, she felt lifeless inside of her.
No friends yet, and with her parents getting prepared for a new baby, they weren’t giving her much attention. She hadn’t even started school yet, because it was February and too late to begin at a new school.
As she had walked along in the field, she held her head up. You see, she was the kind of person who always got back up on their feet and kept on fighting. The kind who never give up, no matter what.

The House on Maple Street
It was a perfect lift-off. Exactly like they had planned, right down to the smallest detail. The whole house shook as we exited out of earth’s atmosphere, but that had been planned for too.

Author: This is stupid beyond belief.

MY MISSIONS TRIP TO CHINA

ONE DAY MY DAD CAME THROUGH THE DOOR AND SAID, “I HAVE A SURPRISE!” EVERYBODY WAITED FOR HIM TO SAY MORE.

“WE ARE GOING ON A MISSIONS TRIP TO CHINA!”
EVERYONE CHEERED AND DECIDED TO THROW A PARTY IN HONOR OF THE TRIP. ALL EXCEPT ME.
I ASKED, “CAN WE TAKE FIDO?” FIDO IS MY BEAUTIFUL ORANGE CAT.
MY DAD SAID, “I DON’T SEE WHY NOT.” MY LITTLE SISTER, MARIE, WHO IS 10 ASKED, “CAN WE TAKE SILVER, TOO?” SILVER IS HER BEAUTIFUL GRAY CAT.
“SURE,” SAID MY DAD.” “WHERE SHOULD WE GO TO CELEBRATE?” ASKED MY MOM. I SAID, “PIZZA!” AT THE SAME TIME MARIE SAID, “ICE CREAM!”
DAD SAID, “WE ALL HAVE TO AGREE ON SOMEWHERE.” I SAID, “WHAT ABOUT JOHN?” JOHN IS MY OLDER BROTHER WHO LIVES ON HIS OWN, AND COMES ONCE A WEEK TO VISIT.
WHENEVER HE DOES HE ALWAYS SPOILS MARIE AND I ROTTEN. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU MY NAME. MY NAME’S SARAH.
ANYWAY, TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT JOHN WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OVER. “WE’LL INVITE HIM TO CELEBRATE WHEREVER YOU TWO GIRLS PICK,” SAID MOM.
SUDDENLY THE DOORBELL RANG. “I’LL GET THAT, AND BY THE TIME JOHN COMES IN THIS ROOM, YOU NEED TO DECIDE, OR I’M GOING TO LET HIM PICK,” SAID DAD.
I SAT DOWN ON A CHAIR AND TRIED TO TALK MARIE INTO PIZZA, BUT SHE WANTED ICE CREAM. AS I WAS SITTING THERE, FIDO JUMPED ONTO MY LAP, AND CURLED HIMSELF THERE.
SUDDENLY I GOT A BRILLIANT IDEA. “MARIE, HOW ABOUT WE HAVE PIZZA THIS TIME AND ICE CREAM NEXT TIME?” “NO. YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME.” I THOUGHT OOPS, MAYBE NOT SUCH A BRILLIANT IDEA. “WE HAD ICE CREAM LAST TIME DIDN’T WE?” “OH YEAH! O.K., WE CAN HAVE PIZZA THEN.”
DAD ENTERED THE ROOM WITH JOHN. “HAVE YOU DECIDED YET?” ASKED DAD. I SAID, “YES DAD. WE AGREED ON PIZZA.”
“”GOOD FOR YOU,” SAID DAD.
“CAN I DRIVE THE CAR?” ASKED JOHN.
DAD GAVE A MOCK SIGH AND SAID, “SURE. WHY NOT?”
MOM CAME INTO THE ROOM AND ASKED, “WHICH CAR ARE WE DRIVING?”
DAD SAID,”WHICHEVER ONE JOHN WANTS.”
“WHEN ARE WE GOING TO CHINA, DADDY?”ASKED MARIE.
“A WEEK FROM TOMORROW.” HE SAID.
JOHN SAID, “YOU’RE GOING TO CHINA? COOL, AM I INVITED?”
“YES, OF COURSE, AND THEY’LL EVEN PAY FOR YOUR TICKET.” “WHO, DEAR?” ASKED MY MOM.
“WHY PENWICK OF COURSE. THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ALL THE NUMBER TWO PENCILS IN THIS TOWN.”

Author's note: Gag me with a stupid story.

MORE THAN TINSEL


AMY BEGAN TO DECORATE THE CHRISTMAS TREE. SHE LOVED DOING THIS EVERY YEAR. THIS YEAR, HOWEVER IT SEEMED HER HEART FELT EMPTY. THE FAMILY HAD JUST NOT BEEN THE SAME SINCE . . . NO SHE WOULD NOT THINK OF THAT. SHE HAD TOO MANY OTHER THINGS TO DO. IMPORTANT THINGS. IT WAS DEFINITELY GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN TINSEL TO MAKE THIS CHRISTMAS RIGHT. IT WAS GOING TO TAKE ALL THE HELP SHE COULD GET, INCLUDING GOD’S. AMY FINISHED DECORATING THE TREE.
THERE SHE THOUGHT; A JOB WELL DONE. SHE WENT INTO THE KITCHEN TO MAKE COOKIES WITH GRANDMA. EVERYTHING SHE COULD POSSIBLY WANT WAS HERE. WELL, ALMOST EVERYTHING. SHE WISHED SHE HAD WHAT IT TOOK TO PUT THE FAMILY BACK TOGETHER FOR CHRISTMAS. SHE JUST DIDN’T HAVE THE HEART.
AMY, IN THE DEPTHS OF HER HEART, WISHED SHE WAS ANYWHERE ELSE, BUT HERE. SHE ESPECIALLY WISHED SHE WAS ACROSS THE SEA WITH PAUL. HE HAD ASKED FOR HER HAND, AND SHE HAD ACCEPTED. HER FAMILY DID NOT THINK HIM SUITABLE, AND HE WAS SO DISCOURAGED, HE WENT TO EUROPE.
SHE HAD TRIED TO FIX IT, BUT NOW SHE WAS THE BLACK SHEEP OF HER FAMILY MORE THAN EVER. SHE SUDDENLY GOT AN IDEA. INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE KITCHEN SHE WENT OUTSIDE. HER MOTHER SAW HER AND SAID, “WHERE ARE YOU GOING AMY?” “TO THE STORE. WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH PINEAPPLE CHUNKS.” “ALL RIGHT.”
SHE GOT OUT HER KEYS AND GOT IN HER CAR. IT WAS TRUE. SHE WAS GOING TO THE STORE, AND PINEAPPLE CHUNKS COULD BE ONE OF THE THINGS ON HER LIST. AMY WENT TO THE BANK AND TOOK OUT HER LIFE SAVINGS. THEN SHE WENT TO THE STORE AND GOT A FEW PROVISIONS. SHE THEN WENT TO THE DOCK AND BOOKED A PASSAGE ON THE NEXT SHIP SAILING TO FRANCE.
SHE HAD SOME LEFT OVER, AND SHE PUT THAT BACK IN THE BANK. THE BOAT WOULDN’T SAIL UNTIL CHRISTMAS EVE. TODAY WAS THE TWENTIETH. ONLY FOUR DAYS TO GO. AMY WENT HOME AND GOT OUT THE BAG WITH THE PINEAPPLE CHUNKS. SHE WENT INTO THE HOUSE AND PUT THE CAN INTO THE REFRIGERATOR. SHE CALLED OUT; “I’M HOME!”
COMING HOME

NOBODY WAS THERE TO GREET HER. THERE WAS A NOTE ON THE REFRIGERATOR THAT SAID “GONE TO DO SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. WILL BE BACK SOON.” THAT NOTE ALONE SHOWED THAT SHE WAS THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY. THEY USUALLY WAITED FOR EVERYONE TO DO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.
SHE WENT TO HER ROOM, AND FLUNG HERSELF ON THE BED. SUDDENLY SHE HEARD THE DOOR OPEN. AUNT SALLY SAID, “WE’RE HOME!” AMY DECIDED NOT TO ANSWER. SHE HEARD HER MOM SAY, “I GUESS SHE’S NOT BACK FROM HER ERAND YET.” THEN HER DAD SAID, “WHAT ERAND?”
THEN THERE WAS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. HER DAD OPENED IT AND SAID, “THAT’S FUNNY. NOBODY’S THERE.” “PROBABLY JUST SOME NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS.” “WHAT NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS?” ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT HIT AMY LIKE A BOLT OF LIGHTNING. SHE KNEW WHO HAD KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, AND NOT ANSWRED. AT LEAST, SHE WAS RELATIVELY CERTAIN.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

WHEN HER FAMILY WAS BUSY SETTING UP THE CHRISTMAS TREE, SHE SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE. SHE LOOKED AROUND, BUT SHE DIDN’T SEE WHO SHE THOUGHT IT WAS. MAYBE HE HAD GIVEN UP BY NOW. NO, HE DIDN’T GIVE UP; HE WOULD WAIT ‘TILL THE COWS CAME HOME IF HE HAD TO.
SHE WENT OVER TO THE BUSHES, BUT SHE DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING. DISAPPOINTED, SHE WENT TO THE PORCH, AND THEN SHE LOOKED BACK. THERE WAS A SUDDEN RUSTLE IN ONE OF THE BUSHES. THERE WAS NO WIND, THOUGH. SHE WENT OVER TO THE MYSTERIOUS BUSH. A CAT CAME FLYING OUT AND WENT AFTER A LEAF.
AMY TURNED AROUND AND WALKED BACK INTO THE HOUSE. SHE PASSED HER FAMILY WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. SHE WENT INTO HER ROOM, AND BEGAN TO HAVE HER QUIET TIME WITH GOD.